HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT DATING A MIXED RACE BROTHER OR SISTER?

[King Jason]

A friend of mine just recently met a young lady he really liked but backed off after finding out that her mom was black and her father was white. He says that he would not be comfortable bringing white people into his immediate family. The sister considers herself Black though and is actually a conscious sister. He asked me if I thought he was wrong and I HAVE NOT ANSWERED HIM YET.

[EL RaSun Maakheru]

Understandable, in one way.

At the same time, a bit unfair, to her -- she can't help who her parent is; and
given the history of this country.

IF you got a good sista, why ruin it for that...

[kemetic]

DIGGIT

[~]

Out of the question for me.

[Ekua]

Bro King Jason, you were somehow all up in a conversation I was literally just having... lol.. seriously! lol...

Ultimately, this is something that would go to the comfort level of your friend, plain and simple. If he is a conscious brother and his views towards whites are unfavorable to say the least, then to have to back down or tone down for the comfort of white family members will be a sore point. He has to think about the picture in the long term and I guess that was what he was doing in making the decision.

Let me ask this question... has he developed something serious with her just yet? Also, has he talked to her about how he feels in this? Did he tell her his reason, if so, what did she have to say?

True, she can't help who her parents are and being conscious herself, she has probably ran into something like this before. It would be good to know how she feels on this.

-- sorry, to pry, but I usually need more info before just rambling off advice -- that's why I give good advice ;-)

[King Jason]

I'm not sure how she feels about it. She obviously likes him though. I do think that he should inquired about this before dating the lady. Though I am not sure that I would pursue this, I still think that this must hurt her. And her being conscious just makes it worse. Will a conscious sister be pushed into the arms of another race because brothers did/could not love her? I'm kind of sick over it. I feel him but feel for her. I'm sure a certified mis-behaver such yourself would understand. lol

[Ekua]

See, there you go... I behave quite well, thank you... lol

But seriously, I have to look at this a little objectively, which is why I asked the question about how serious this had went. I probably should have asked how long had they been dating prior to him finding this out, but usually seriousness means more to me.

The thing that I am thinking about is this: she knew her parents were white. Given that she is conscious and given the prevalent sentiment of the conscious community towards whites, I would have thought it would have been something that came up from her a lot earlier in their dating. I have a half sister now who is very light in complexion, but both my mom and her dad are Black. She took after her father's mother complexion-wise, and so it is with many light-skinned and even not-so-light-skinned Blacks, so I don't know if it was on your friend to ask, so much as it was for her to say something. I do feel for her because I am an advocate for love and lasting relationships, but I'm just identifying where this all went wrong.

As for her being pushed into the arms of another race... again, I have to give that the straight face... because again, one person's actions should not deem all brothers unworthy. I know there are other conscious brothers who may not have a big issue with it, so using that as an excuse is wrong. I feel for her broken heart, I really do. I just hope next time, its all laid out there up front.

One more thing.... does he really want to work this out?

...and if I'm missing something, just let me know.

[TheGuru]

This issue has to do with interracial dating or sexual attraction. All humans possess the fundamental instinct of sexual interaction as mechanism of survival. It is important to consider consequences when we discuss race and race mixing. Sex, Fear, Aggression and Waste secretion are four basic human instincts. In the following fear of race mixing is creating escape behavior which leaves many unresolved issues along with internal and external conflict. In any interracial relationship, motive is the key to resolving the issues of conflict. Love is very abstract and does not define or explain why humans truly mate.

[King Jason]

You know, I really don't think think it's at a broken heart stage as much as it is....damn I didn't see this coming stage. It's not like they were dating long enough to be in love she was just feeling him and he her. She is not extremely fair complected so he may not have thought to ask. But she has long wavy hair and even that does not mean she has to be mixed. Maybe he should have lied in this case and made an excuse other than the truth to spare her feelings. Just me.

[Sister Lily Mihirete Amlak]

The WILLY LYNCH Letter-1772

..."I am here to help you solve some of your problems with slaves."...
..."In my bag, I have a fool proof method for controlling your slaves. I guarantee everyone of you that if installed it will control the slaves for at least three hundred years. My method is simple, any member of your family or any OVERSEER can use it.

I have outlined a number of differences among the slaves, and I take these differences and make them bigger. I use FEAR, DISTRUST, and ENVY for control purposes. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies, and it will work throughout the SOUTH. Take this simple little list of differences and think about them. On the top of my list is "AGE" but it is only there because it starts with an "A"; The second is"COLOR" or shade; there is INTELLIGENCE, SIZE, SEX, SIZE OF PLANTATION, ATTITUDE of owner, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, east or west, north, south, have fine or coarse hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you an outline of action- but before that, I shall assure you that DISTRUST IS STRONGER THAN TRUST, AND ENVY IS STRONGER THAN ADULATION, RESPECT OR ADMIRATION.

The black slave, after receiving this indoctrination, shall carry on and will become self-refueling and self-generating for hundreds of years, maybe thousands.

Don't forget you must pitch the old black VS. the young black males, and the young black male against the old black male. You must use the dark skinned slaves VS. the light skin slaves. You must use the female VS the male, and the male VS, the female. You must always have your servants and OVERSEERS distrust all blacks, but it is necessary that your slaves trust and depend on us.

Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control, use them. Never miss an opportunity. My plan is guaranteed, and the good thing about this plan is that if used intensely for one year the slave will remain perpetually distrustful.

-WILLIAM LYNCH-1772 "

full text ( http://www.dubroom.org/articles/090.htm )

[King Jason]

The Willie Lynch letter is a fraud but point well taken.

[~]

I'll try to be a lil' more cooperative. lol

This is all I can say on this issue and it depends on how this brotha actually relates to white people. If he relates to them the way I do and if he practices African spirituality then he needs to go to a priest and have a roots reading done on her to find out if she is a reincarnated spirit from her father's family or from her mother's family. There are no "mixed spirits".

For me personally, I would avoid such a situation altogether. However, if this were an alternate, parallel universe and I found myself in such a situation and I wanted to move further, she would have to be a reincarnated spirit from her mother's side and she would have to relate to her father and his kind the way that I do.

That ayne no strong-arm type stuff because I would never force someone to have that perspective. My mate will most likely have this understanding well before I ever come along.

When he says that he wouldn't be comfortable bringing white people into his immediate family he is more right than he may know. If she is a reincarnated spirit from her mother's side then there is no danger of such a thing. However, if she is a reincarnated spirit from her father's side then not only is he rolling dices on any children he may have with her but he's also alienating his own spiritual family including any deities that may have spiritual and blood pacts with his family.

[TheGuru]

Perfectly put! Identifying certain constructs of nature and the universe, makes it scientificly possible to calculate why you like certain objective and the there of.